Thursday, 6 November 2008

Hormones...

It's 8:45 in the morning & already I've been on an emotional roller coaster & I feel the need to share. So as I'm on my own with a 20month old... The blog gets it!!

 I woke up feeling like I wanted to cry... Maybe because Rebekah was crying at 5:45, then went back to sleep but unfortunately I could not. I was tossing & turning, just couldn't get comfortable. All the pregnancy books say "sleep on your side, not on your back". Guess how I'm most comfortable... Yep, my back or my front. I can still get away with sleeping on my tummy but this morning I needed a wee.  So after getting up & sneaking across the landing (so as not to wake the sleeping toddler), I got back in bed & hoped for sleep. No such luck!! Why can't you sleep when you're so tired?? Tom got up for work and I was all on my own

Anyway I decided to take advantage of time on my own, spread out in the bed & stuck on a dvd (a chick flick)... Bad move. I spent most of it on the verge of tears thinking 'am I going crazy? what's wrong with me?' I persuaded myself this type of behavior is totally normal for a pregnant/hormonal lady, finished the film & came downstairs & turned on the laptop.

My friend Liz started a blog yesterday & so I read her first post. Again I wanted to cry!!! It certainly wasn't sad & by this stage I was starting to get worried... 'Will I be like this all day?... Hope I don't burst into tears when I'm out... What will Rebekah think if her Mummy keeps crying?' To be fair I shouldn't worry about the latter as she usually thinks it's hilarious.  Anyway at that point I heard my beautiful girl waking up. 

When I got in her room, picked her up & heard 'hello mummy' I melted with pure joy & felt anything but tearful. I thought I mist be 'cured'!!! To be fair, who wouldn't melt at this face...

Beautiful girl!!!

However, I wasn't 'cured' and in the last half hour I've laughed with Rebekah, snapped at her, apologised & had lots of kisses & cuddles.  I'm not sure a hormonal Mummy & strong-willed toddler is a good combination but we will make the best of it! I love my girl so much &  I hate being grumpy with her!! 

I wonder what the day ahead will bring? Can anyone relate or am I just crazy?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

How can you say that you are no good at writting. I have just finished my third night shift and thought iwould quickly checkout facebook, i spotted your status and thought i would see what the blog was all about, once i strted reading i couldn't stop, it makes a facinating read.
As to the are you crazy post? i feel like that, most days and i'm not pregnant. I hate being grumpy with harrison, but when your shattered you don't have the same patience.
Keep up the post its a great read, also when tomorrow is a new day you will wonder what you was worried about Andrea x

Jason said...

Eleanor....hormonal????
Never!!!

Then again, who am I to comment. I am sure the Eleanor I knew is long gone :)

Glad to see you're blogging - keep it up!